5 Ways To Be There For Your Friend After They've Been Cheated On

5 Ways To Be There For Your Friend After They've Been Cheated On
PHOTO: UNSPLASH

You get a call in the middle of the night. It's your friend. She's crying, and through sniffles she breaks the news to you: He cheated. You sit on the other end of the line, holding your breath and doing mental gymnastics to figure out the best way to respond. You can't say nothing, but what if you say the wrong thing? What if you upset her more than she already is? How do you be a supportive friend at such a heartbreaking time in her life?

Read on for five tips on exactly how to react when your friend gets betrayed by someone she loves.

Be There For Her.
PHOTO: CMT
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Be There For Her.

The best thing you can do for your friend at such a dark time in her life is listen to her. Be her safe space. Let her know that she won't be going through this alone, and that you love her — that her pain is valid. Make sure she knows that she can vent to you; doing so will help her grieve effectively.

Oh, and if she has to throw things against a wall in order to get her anger out, so be it. Just be sure to steer her back towards rationality/passivity once she works through her initial shock.

Don't Immediately Begin Badmouthing Her Partner.
PHOTO: NBC
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Don't Immediately Begin Badmouthing Her Partner.

It may seem as though you're sympathizing with your friend when you openly criticize her partner, but what you're *actually* doing is making the conversation about your own feelings instead of hers — and that could result in your friend feeling the need to defend her partner to you. Make sure she always has the floor.

Let Her Find Her Own Way.
PHOTO: NETFLIX
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Let Her Find Her Own Way.

This may sound tough, but you need to remember that your friend will have to work her way through these terrible feelings on her own time. A fog of disbelief can linger around her heart for a long, long time, clouding her ability to make sense of the ordeal. Being her sounding board is the very best thing you can do. 

Lorelei ordering Rory pizza after her breakup with Dean

Take Care Of The Details.

With your friend so hurt, it's now your job to be there for her by taking care of the essentials: Do a grocery run. Take her dog for a walk. Spiff up her house. Do a load of laundry for her. Go grab her a bottle of wine (or three). Taking care of some of these things will help her out tremendously — and even if she doesn't properly appreciate your efforts now, she will someday.

Understand Your Limits.
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Understand Your Limits.

Experiencing such betrayal, hurt, anger, and sadness all at once might make your friend revert inwards, causing her to be distant, flaky, insensitive, and/or dismissive. When this happens, you have to make sure you don't take it personally. Remember: Your primary duty is to listen to her, to be there, and to help her feel understood.

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