The Do's And Don'ts Of Grooming In Public

blue ivy beyonce
PHOTO: GIPHY

Streamlining morning routines is all the rage, but it seems as though there are certain individuals who missed the point and assumed the best way to maximize their time was by grooming in public. We’re talking everything from ear canal drainage while enjoying an after-dinner mint, to pooping alongside a Walgreens even though Walgreens was already open. Looks like it’s time to revisit the do’s and don’ts of grooming in public!

Person receiving a manicure.
PHOTO: PEXELS
1 / 10

Don't: Clip Your Nails

"Captain, we have a problem. The passenger in seat 32C is clipping her nails. They're shooting off everywhere like fireworks." Anywhere outside a spa or home bathroom is not "pamper myself with a nail trim" time. 

Woman applying lipstick.
PHOTO: PEXELS
2 / 10

Do: Apply Lipstick

As long as you don't open-mouth breathe or make weird eye contact with anyone while you're putting your lipstick on, then go for it.

woman flossing in pain
PHOTO: GIPHY
3 / 10

Don't Floss Your Teeth

The club and the living room couch of a friend are for gettin' your drink on. Not so much for gettin' your teeth flossing on.

A lady is smiling.
PHOTO: PEXELS
4 / 10

Do: Use Toothpicks To Clean Out Your Teeth

Toothpicks are a great way to clean out your teeth after a meal, but one wrong move and you'll be making the most frantic 911 call of your life. Proceed with caution.

man straightening his hair
PHOTO: GIPHY
5 / 10

Don't: Remove Loose Hair From Your Scalp

After a successful PowerPoint presentation, please refrain from running your fingers through your hair, then dropping the loose hairs on the floor like you're dropping a mic.

A woman is pulling her wedgie out.
PHOTO: PEXELS
6 / 10

Don't: Pull Out Your Wedgie

It's time to buy better fitting underpants.

monster cleaning out his ears
PHOTO: GIPHY
7 / 10

Don't: Dig In Your Ears

Your finger is not meant to clean out ear wax. Louder? YOUR FINGER IS NOT MEANT TO CLEAN OUT EAR WAX! 

Toast is popping from a toaster.
PHOTO: PEXELS
8 / 10

Do: Apply Lotion

But only on your hands. Because honestly, no one at your job in customer service cares that your feet are as dry as burned toast.

man spraying fire
PHOTO: GIPHY
9 / 10

Do: Use Sunscreen

As long as you don't spray without abandon, then definitely do it.

A woman is squatting on a rail road track.
PHOTO: PEXELS
10 / 10

Don't: Poop

Your self-confidence and devil-may-care attitude are making everyone jealous, for sure, but could you stop pooping on the hood of our cars? No one wants malaria, thanks!

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MELINA SAINT THUNDERDOME

Although travel, fashion, art, and fitness are among my favorite hobbies, my true passion is comedy, particularly writing sketches. In my free time I'm usually watching Korean YouTube makeup tutorials, reading Cheetos' Chester Cheetah twitter account, and re-watching the videos and photos my sister sends me of my baby nephew. You can catch me as a background actor in most tv shows and movies that film in Chicago. I'm usually the tired, ill-looking one.

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