I'm Married And I Think Valentine's Day Is The Dumbest Thing Ever

pessimistic valentine's day heart candies

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I've been married for seven years now, and I don't like to celebrate Valentine's Day. When I was single, I often wished I had someone to spend Valentine's Day with, but after awhile, I realized how stupid the day really is. I mean, think about it. It's supposed to be a day where you celebrate love. Or, more specifically, your lover. But how is it romantic to celebrate your relationship on the same day as everyone else? There's nothing special about that. The entire day is about commercializing relationships in a very phony way and then pretending that your love story is totally unique. Give me a break.

Your S.O. can buy you flowers, or candy, or take you out to dinner. But guess what? Everyone else is doing the same damn thing! And not because they want to, because they feel obligated to.

Ooh...how romantic! My man is taking me out to a fancy dinner because it's Valentine's Day!


Does he ever take you out "just because?" On nights when nobody else is celebrating? Because that's what romance is about — doing unexpected things because you actually want to. If my husband sends me flowers on Valentine's Day, it's a nice gesture. But it's unnecessary. I'd rather get flowers on my birthday. Or after a job promotion. Or next Friday night because he's thinking about me and wants me to know. I don't want him to waste money on "stuff" just because society pressures him into it.

And don't get me started on all those couples who look sooooo in luuuuv on Valentine's Day. They post these cutesy photos on Facebook and Instagram, kissing each other and gushing over how "loved" and "blessed" they are. I'm sure they secretly fight all the time, force themselves to smile for this one night, and are "on-again, off-again" more often than they'd care to admit. Maybe Valentine's Day is a night when couples who are really busy schedule time to be together. (Hey, sometimes we married folks have to schedule sex, so no judgment there.) This makes a bit more sense to me, but I still feel like it's a horrible night to do that. 

Wouldn't it be better to plan a night out when not every restaurant in town has an hour long wait? Or when all the movies at the theater aren't sold out? Or when you don't have to feel like you're competing with other couples and comparing your evening against theirs?

OMG, those flowers are way prettier than the ones I got! That bottle of wine looks really expensive. I wish we could afford to go to a high-end restaurant. That guy is totally all over her. I bet it's because he treats her like gold.

Seriously. Stop acting like Valentine's Day is some mushy celebration of love. It's a crock. It forces people to do things for each other they should be doing anyway. And if you think that having your better half pamper or spoil you on Valentine's Day means they really, really, super, totally, are beyond in love with you, you're dreaming. True love is defined by the way we act on ordinary days when there's no reason to go above and beyond the call of love duty. 

Valentine's Day is just an excuse for lazy people to act like they care. For men to pull out all the stops with the hope of getting laid. For women to dress up and feel like queens, even though they aren't the only queen in the kingdom.

Give. Me. A. Break. And a bouquet of flowers...any day except Valentine's Day.



Leena Kollar is a writer, wife, mom and fashion blogger. She runs the women's style website, The Style Spectrum, which guides women on finding the best clothing, makeup and accessories for their body shape, face shape and individual seasonal coloring. The overwhelmed mother of two (three, if you include her husband) enjoys solo trips to Target, audience-free trips to the bathroom and sneaking treats after her kids have gone to bed.


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