According To Some Experts, Faking The 'Big O' Might Be The Key To Having One

a man talking about faking an orgasm
PHOTO: VALERIA BOLTNEVA / PEXELS

If we were to ask you if you’ve ever faked an orgasm before and you said “no”, we’d probably give you major side-eye. Just based on the stats alone, close to 80 percent of women have “faked it” before, for one reason or another.

Sometimes it’s due to the fear of being vulnerable with your partner. Other times, it's not wanting to disappoint them, wanting to hurry up and get the experience over with, or feeling self-conscious. There are even some women who make faking an orgasm a regular practice because they're afraid of what an unrehearsed or unexpected orgasm would look and feel like.

The thing is, by faking an orgasm, a lot of women are missing out on so many of the benefits that come with having a REAL one. Matter of fact, there is actually one medical professional who believes that women should have no less than three real orgasms a week.

Aside from the physical pleasure that they give, orgasms are proven to provide stress relief, lower depression and anxiety symptoms, make us want to be nicer to others, and act as a natural pain reliever.

What if you’re not sure how to make that happen? Fully trusting your partner, not allowing yourself to feel self-conscious about your body, and trying sexual positions that increase the chances of climaxing can all help. However, to be fair, apparently there’s also a chance that "faking it until you make it" ironically may help you achieve an orgasm too.

When you’re in the process of participating in what is known as "elevated arousal" (the technical term for faking an orgasm), sometimes the sounds that you make, along with the excitement you give your partner can actually get you excited in the process. If you’re able to maintain a certain level of "acted out passion" for more than a couple of minutes, there’s a chance that you could end up having an orgasm without even trying — well, trying for real.

Is the moral to the story that if you’re a faker you should simply keep on doing what you’re doing? Not really, because the study doesn’t guarantee that faking an orgasm will lead to a real one; it simply says that there’s a possibility that it might happen.

But if you are someone who’s done all that you can to "get there" and fireworks haven’t gone off just yet, keep your chin up. Faking it until you make it just might surprise you one day.

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SHELLIE RENEé

Just a woman who digs all things relationships. HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, that is. I've been writing (professionally) for close to 20 years, including having two books published. I'm also a marriage life coach and doula. Sometimes I speak to large audiences or do radio interviews, but usually I'm sitting in my favorite chair, surfin' the 'net and penning stuff that I wish I had read in my early 20s.

Listen, I don't have all the answers, not by a LOOOOONG shot. But whatever I can do to spare folks any heartbreak, bitterness or straight-up drama, I'll devote some keystrokes to doing. 

That's it...in a nutshell. For the most part. Kinda. ;)

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